The most elusive goal ... striking the work life balance and being a good Mom.

....So i called it  day a off from work and pre school of course  ... thanks to the impending inclement weather the snow storm all over east coast. I woke up early to see the snow flakes pouring outside and said wow to myself can stay in my pyjamas all day ....refilled my coffee mug and got on to something i love ... Blogging about my little sunshine the bumblebee who makes my life busy. After staying home full time for 3 years and experiencing the better side of life of doing things at your own pace, watch the little bumble bee/sunshine s whimsical ways, waking up to 10 am mornings  i do love these day offs where the week gets shorter.


Whilst I'm not this unflappable working mother doing everything right and getting organised and running this laundry list i must admit i'm still very lazy and love day dreaming too. Now does that make me a bad Mom. Probably yes in the eyes of many perfectionist who are mechanial and operate like machines.

Some intruiging yet a cute free advice i got...

Aunty Ann - 'Dont you have to cook a meal for the rest of the week since you are a working Mom....I used do all my cooking and deep freeze it wake up at 5am Thaw it and give it fresh to my kids you should do that too.

Me - Awesome idea 'Aunty'

Me - To Myself - 'Thanks but no thanks', Whilst Aunty s idea is lovely and would mean i wont enter my kitchen for the rest of the week .... nahhhhh

To me this is more complicated and so mechanical and also a lot of time and effort goes into thinking. Well its just me im sure everyone has a way but  the society in general thinks  working mom s are stressed out and do not give anything fresh to their kids. Another one from my old friend in Mumbai who has 2 kids -  In US you don't have to do anything i'm sure bcos the dayare provides you with all the food and i'm sure your kids must be so falling sick every month in the daycare hence i toh never did that plunge ever with both my kids . There are all sorts of 'judgemental human beings what do i say... I get all sorts of free question marks on foreheads from people i dont even know
So... how do i get the time to hit the playground. how do i get time over the weekend to hit outdoors in this weather  - don't you have to finish your grocery and wen do you do the laundry. What about cooking, cleaning, organising your closet  ..'.best one ' don't you make fresh rotis or you just buy the readymade frozen food for your kid or you let him eat at the school?

The answer to all of the above is 'shut up'

And  Hey You, Im a Good Mom! I do all of it!!

What matters to me is to see a happy face in the morning when we wake up  cuddle tight and i sing the 'You are my sunshine' song to him... we give each other a 5 minutes hugs pugs and then our day starts ... im ready with breakfast on the table ... i've packed his lunch already (my son s daycare does not provide food only snacks....so  i do all of this when hes sleeping not very early but a alarm that snoozes for about half an hour and i call it morning at 6.30 am....im not organised and i don't pack things the previous night i do some of it at times depends really and then im a desi and i do make fresh rotis its a 2 minute job why stress on the round shaped rotis i don't care if it looks like a half moon or india map... of course i have a machine that kneads my flour.. and i use all sorts of short cuts ... whatever works best.

Fortunately i work on a compressed 7 hour a day kind of schedule. Thankfully I have no laptop or work from home option my job does not need that.   Well  so we are apart for 6 to 7 hours in a day but thank god with the winters here we have all the evenings to us i do take him along to fetch some grocery if need be, we hit home get on to our pyjamas and have it all for us. I dont even think about all of the questions above all i do is think about him when im driving and what fun stuff we are gona do next i love to see that face lit up like a moon when i pick him up from the day care and ready to hold my finger and walk down with me ... its that moment of pause that matters that happy feeling of having missed each other ..that matters and making up for those hours we missed. even 1 hour of good bonding and forgetting the world could do that for me at least. I have a no cell phone rule in the evening i let it stay in the bag it workss wonders.

Its important we respect ourselves and our decisions in life i know its tough but we gota hear our instincts every now and then and work according to that.

We are all good moms. We are all trying our best for our kids. Sometimes we fail, we are stressed when they are sick, most often we fight it and we suceed. As moms we put so much  emphasis on our flaws which we should'nt. I see good moms out there all the time. At my son s day care i see all moms happily talking to the kids about how good was their day, i see good moms at the library who read out to their kids, i saw a good mom who took her son out of the library bcos he was loud, she is teaching her son about rules, routines and expectations. The mom who forgoes cooking dinner and drives through Mcdonalds so that she can spend more time playing and less time cooking is a good mom too. Its the quality of time not quantity as my cousin rightly said!! Aunty Ann is a good Mom too bcos she did what is best for her kids.

As Moms we never hear appreciation but get criticised easily when our kids dont behave or fall sick but we are all good moms at the end of the day so appreciate yourself and speak to yourself while driving or while getting ready look at the mirror and say how good you are. Do not tag yourself as a working mom or a stay at home mom, you are simply a good mom.It is what it is.